Have you ever struggled and think is this me or is this what i really want or is it what other people want for me that makes me think that is what i want?
The truth is i think i have been struggling with myself for these past few years..I'm not sure whether people actually think the same or have been through this their self..but i do know that i myself am going through this feelings and emotions quiet a lot this past few years..It's a struggle for me cause most of the times I have never defended myself to say or do what i really wanted.It was always kept in ,thinking that i never wanted to make other people hurt or angry .But little did i know that i was actually doing lots of damage to myself ...The more i kept quiet and the more i just when with whatever they wanted.. i lost myself slowly and now its more of a struggle to say or think what i really want for myself!!
It's FRUSTRATING to not say what you feel or actually think deep down inside.
Lately i've been thinking a lot and am really fed up with the way i am now...WHY you ask?
Because i know deep down inside i am more then what i think of myself..
I can do so much but just have not done it yet.. either because too shy or just scared for some reason.
I am worth it no matter what some people say, but many say that im worth more then i think i am.
I wanna do things that i have not experienced in my life yet.I wanna try new things..I wanna travel the world .I want so much but never got the chance or just to scared to do it...So now..its time for me to do what i wanted to do !!
I know it's gonna be a struggle since it's been a long time where i didnt care what others think and just say or do what i really wanted at that very moment itself ...i cant always hide behind everything...no more!!!I've got to stand up for myself and not let people step all over me and take advantage.Its really hard to say no ,since most of the time i have always said yes to everyone even when i didn't want to.
Sometimes i ask myself...why do we actually care so much bout what others say..when in the end of it you yourself is gonna make that decision alone because it's your life not others!!
Slowly but surely....
Something i might wanna try out for fun??
*Sing in front of a really big crowd alone
*Travel the whole and experience something new
*Try out fashion designing
*Learn to play the guitar
*Own a car
*Get either my tummy or tongue pierce
*Get a tattoo..always wanted one
*Eventually get a job that pays really good and do what makes me happy
*Go for vacation somewhere maybe in Malaysia first with the ones i really love and care maybe to Redang ,Tioman,Langkawi???
* Learn something new..like maybe a new language?
* Do up my room ..redesigning it and making things in order:)
* and many many more to come...will be updating it whenever i think of it;)
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